What Difference Does It Make?
by chocolatequeen
Summary: He once said he wouldn't want to know who he was going to marry... what does he think now? (AT friendly)


Title: What Difference Does It Make? Author: Chocolatequeen Rating: G or PG Spoilers: Future Tense, E2 Summary: After E2, Malcolm talks to Trip about their glimpse of the future.  
  
[i]"I'm going to tell you this for the last time."[/i]  
  
Trip could almost hear himself saying that to his son, just like his father had to him. Even though Lorian didn't exist anymore, since he and his Enterprise had been successful in changing history, he still couldn't help but think about what it would be like to be a father, to be a husband.  
  
"May I join you, Commander?"  
  
The question startled him out of his daydreams, and he glanced quickly around the mess hall to see where it came from, his gaze landing on the armory officer who stood to his right. "Uh? Oh hey Malcolm. Sure, have a seat," he said distractedly, still half lost in his past-that-was-really- his-future.  
  
"You seem a little bit dazed sir, is everything all right?" Malcolm asked as he set his tray down and began eating.  
  
"I'm fine Malcolm, just thinkin' about the old Enterprise we saw is all."  
  
"Ah... That was an interesting experience, seeing a possible future for us all."  
  
"Yeah, it was something else, wasn't it?"  
  
Surprised by the undercurrent he heard in those words, Malcolm looked up in time to catch his superior officer staring off into space, a half smile on his face. "I suppose you could say that sir," he offered hesitantly.  
  
"I mean, I never thought I'd get to see my son command a starship! Wasn't he great Malcolm?"  
  
Cocking one eyebrow, Malcolm replied with, "Sir, with all due respect—your son tried to blow us up. I would not classify that as 'great'."  
  
"Aw c'mon, quit being such a stuffed-shirt! He was trying to protect his mission... 'Sides, I bet he picked up his trigger-happy tendencies hanging out with you," Trip added slyly.  
  
Malcolm sighed and set his fork down; the conversation was rapidly destroying his appetite. "Well apparently I had nothing better to do in my twilight years than teach my friend's son how to fire phase cannons," he said dourly.  
  
The remark hit Trip funny, and for the first time he actually looked at the other man. "Hey, what's eatin' you?" he asked, catching a glimpse of bitterness flickering in his eyes.  
  
"It seems that while you and the rest of the crew were busy playing Noah's Ark, I remained single."  
  
"Noah's Ark?" Trip asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.  
  
"Pairing off two by two?" Malcolm expounded. "When I imagined looking into the future to discover who I'd marry, it never occurred to me that I would see no one."  
  
"Hey Mal, take it easy," Trip said, slapping his friend on the back. "Remember, it was only one version of what could happen in the future... you have all the chances you want to change it."  
  
"What about you, Commander?" Malcolm questioned, eager to take the attention off himself.  
  
"Huh? What about me? I found out who I'm going to marry, and I'm pretty pleased with it, if I may say so," he said contentedly, leaning back in his chair and lacing his fingers behind his head, looking for all the world like a cat who'd just gotten both the canary and the cream.  
  
"Are you sure?" he pressed.  
  
"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be? Look Malcolm, why are you pushin' this?" Trip asked, growing irritated by the line of questioning.  
  
"There was a time when you didn't want to know who you were going to marry," Malcolm reminded him, waiting for the light to go on before continuing. "I believe you said something along the lines of, 'Look... suppose you could look in a book and see who you were going to marry. Then you meet her, fall in love, get married and live happily ever after... Now do you really love her, or do you love her because some book said you would?"  
  
"Do you ever forget anything?" Trip grumbled, his posture slumping as he thought about what he'd once said and believed.  
  
"No sir, I've got a mind like a steel trap," Malcolm replied without conceit. "So in light of your earlier thoughts, are you still glad we met up with our future selves?"  
  
"I don't know Mal... I still agree with what I said a year ago—ordinarily, I wouldn't want to know. It just seems to take away my choices, ya know? But now... I mean, I had feelings for T'Pol before..."  
  
"Yes, I think we all caught hints of your... er, relationship with the Sub- commander," Malcolm said wryly. "The question remains, were you truly in love with her before we met the second Enterprise, or were you simply attracted to her?"  
  
The question hung in the air for a moment before Trip answered, speaking slowly. "I don't guess I really know Malcolm... what do you think?"  
  
The Brit shook his head, saying, "I can't answer that for you Commander, no one can. You have to figure that out for yourself."  
  
"But how? I mean, now that I've seen one version of the future, how will I ever know if what we have is real, or just a reflection of the emotions the other Trip and T'Pol had?"  
  
The distress in his friend's voice touched Malcolm, but there still wasn't much he could say. "All I can recommend, sir, is that you determine what your feelings are before pursuing her any farther."  
  
"And if I do love her?" Trip probed, trying to figure the whole mess out.  
  
"Then you go after her, just like you would in any other situation. Once you know what you want, don't hesitate; but don't make a hasty decision based on distorted information. None of us know what circumstances happened to put our counterparts in the relationships they were in. For all I know, I could have been in love with a lovely girl who died on an away mission. Just because I didn't get married doesn't mean I didn't fall in love, or that I won't fall in love in our timeline."  
  
"And just because T'Pol and I somehow managed to form a relationship doesn't mean we will again," Trip said, finally understanding all the ramifications of their conversation.  
  
"Exactly. And it doesn't mean you won't either. Just be careful Commander," Malcolm advised as Trip stood to leave the table.  
  
"I will Mal... thanks for talkin' to me."  
  
"Anytime sir," Malcolm said quietly before going back to his meal.  
  
And in a dark corner of the mess hall another officer finally managed to see a bright spot on the dark canvas that had been the last week. Since the moment Dr. Phlox had said Trip was the father of T'Pol's son, Jonathan Archer had been wracked with jealousy. He hadn't fully realized before that moment how much she meant to him, but then it had been crystal clear. He was in love with her.  
  
He'd thought it a cruel irony that he should figure that out only after learning that she would have a child with another man. Even learning that he did find someone to share his life with hadn't taken away the bitterness he'd felt at that revelation.  
  
But listening to Trip and Malcolm talk had softened the edge a bit. Nothing was set in stone yet, there was still a possibility this T'Pol didn't love this Trip; there was still a possibility she might come to love him instead.  
  
Normally Jon followed the strict rules of "Thou shalt not date thy best friend's future/past wife" rigidly. However, this was different. Even Trip wasn't sure he loved T'Pol, and if she happened to be in love with someone else by the time he figured it out, that was his loss. Jonathan Archer knew what he wanted, and he was going to go after it. 


End file.
